Puns and Jokes

New (22-Aug-2001)

This batch from David Nocivelli. Thanks (I think) Dave!

• Psion: When a psi isn't turned off

• Tumble: What Boy George likes to do "4 you"

• Disguise: A New York native recognizing a guy he knows

• Innuendo: ending every thing you say with "if you know what I mean", if you know what I mean

• One thief to another: Can you read lips?..."Sure, what has he published?"

• Spot: common name for a dog, if you know what I mean

• Improved Trip: falling like no else can

• Iron Will: an iron golem named Will

• Change Self: a yearly failed resolution

• Major Image: an image who has earned a high rank in the Army

The Rest

• Wilderness Lore: Data's evil twin in a loin cloth

• Character Generator: Common euphemism for sex

• Amber Hulk: Big green guy stuck in fossilized tree sap

• Lizardfolk: Precursor to lizard rock and roll

• Grapple: New flavor drink from Snapple, targeted for gamers

• Bull Rush: Rarely a good move on a farm

• Stunning Fist: Fist with a charisma of 19+

• Teleport without Error: Leaves your mistakes behind

• Spirited Charge: Feat to allow fighter to charge while drunk

• Paladin's Mount: Specialized technique paladins use to leap onto their horse

• Fiendish: Popular lunch special in the lower planes

• Loremaster: Prestige class specializing in the study of Data's evil twin brother.

• Could Craft(Belching) ever be considered a class skill?

• Should taking Combat Reflexes as a Commoner provide a +20 to their base movement? "Run Away! Run Away!"

• Quick Draw: Useful for the sketch artist

• Speak with Animals: Provides caster with the ability to speak and understand the inhabitants of Delta House, including Bluto

• Last week I went to Grack the Magnificent's 100th birthday celebration. Other guests from all over the county were arriving, but I couldn't find the mage anywhere. I finally found him in a small room on the second floor, huddled over a crystal ball.
  "Grack, " I exclaimed, "What are you doing up here? All your friends are downstairs waiting for you!"
  He gave me an irritated look and said, "It's my party, and I can scry if I want to."

• Rapid Shot: Great feat for barkeeps

• Fireball: Annual social held by the Efreet

• Lightning Bolt: Removing the heavy bits from a crossbow bolt

• Scribe Scroll: Item 3 on the dead scribe treasure table

• Color Spray: Handy tool for marking your trail

• Point Blank Shot: Arrows with the tips removed

• Spiked Chain: Beverage of choice for rust monsters